The Journey Ahead

I am rapidly approaching a time in my life where  some pretty important decisions have to be made. How do I know which choice  is the right one?

Have you ever seen the movie Castaway, with Tom Hanks? Here is a clip of the ending, and offers an insight to how I feel.  Start at about 1:20 seconds in…

In keeping with this theme, the poem by Robert Frost – “The Road Not Taken” is another way I feel.

From another perspective: 

Bottom line is the semester is over and I’m now running down the home stretch of this journey. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel – so to speak. With that glorious light comes fear. I’m scared. What road is “the right one”. So many choices ( and changes) are in front of me.

I love my comfortable life of my home life  with my hubby, my job, friends and school. I love the consistency, the routine, familiarity of it all. With graduation looming on the horizon I’m faced with the expectation from many people that now I must go off and put my “education to good use.” Furthermore, when school ends in May, my hubby and I can move out of the hellishly boring suburb we had to move into to be closer to school, and finally buy a place closer to Downtown San Diego. To add more pressure, S and I “pulled the goalie” last year, and I honestly thought I would either be pregnant or have a baby upon graduation. Doesn’t look like that is happening anytime soon, but who knows.

So I guess I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the impending changes and expectations that I will encounter within the next 6 months. No more school, look for a new job that my family finally approves of, buy a house and possibly have a kid or be knocked up. No pressure.  Did I mention that I need to finish my thesis my mid-March?

I know that change is a good thing, and I am trying to be positive about it, but I just hate the pressure of it all. What if I can’t find a job? What if I can’t get pregnant? What if my Thesis sucks and I don’t graduate. My head is full of questions, worries and what-if’s.

The stress gets to me sometimes, but I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, trying to enjoy every moment from now until the day I graduate and recognize that this is a special time in my life, one that I am going to look back on quite fondly and think of the good times, and not the bad stuff.  My yoga practice has helped with the stress. I guess bending myself into a pretzel and sweating like a pig is helpful for these things!

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